Monday, April 25, 2005

BabiGurl28- Finding a Way to a BIGGER Path

Being short is like a little ant in a big city. I want to be taller and not have it have such a big impact on my life, I want to be taller because being short can be frustrating, I want to be able to talk to people with them knowing I’m 13 and not 10, and when I go to a restaurant I don’t want people to assume I’m a little kid wanting to color or choose a meal off a little kids menu/ coloring paper. In don’t want my life having people assuming things, jumping to conclusions, or making me feel put down. I would like to change my self to make me taller and change the way people think of me but I can’t, I will have to make due with the way I am now but life’s just not fair.

Living a life in a small body can be very frustrating. I have no say and no one wants to listen. For example, my friend who is younger then me looks down on me, it get on my nerves and as I said I’m basically a small fish in a big pond. It6 makes me frustrated being small, for I have a lot to say and it makes it tough when people looks at you and judges you for how you look, it’s tough when people judge you on your size because it makes me sad to know that people think I’m ten and not thirteen and think that I can’t do this and I can’t do that, it can become very frustrating. Needless to say, it is a big deal that I will have to put up with until I eventually grow. It’s not the life I want to live, I just want to be average or be treated my age.

I’ve had many wishes in my life but my number one wish would be, able to talk to someone and them knowing that I’m thirteen and not ten and that I am capable to do different things even though my height is lacking HEIGHT! I came to my mom one night with a sad face, wanting to be different I wanted to be taller, and look my age. My mom said that she couldn’t help me and that there is nothing anyone could do about it. I’m always hoping for a way my life could change. For example, when I first met one of my t friends she didn’t even think that I went to the same school, even though I did have a backpack on and was talking to other people. My number one wish to change my height, it is the most important thing that I want to happen, also being able to talk with other people and them thinking I’m thirteen and I can do everything else a normal thirteen year old kid could do.

Life’s not easy, it’s not supposed to be easy but I desperately want it to be, when I go to a restaurant I don’t want to be automatically be sat down at a table with a little kids menu and crayons, yeah it was funny the first time but when it keeps happening it begins not to be funny any more. I little thing by putting a little children’s menu can make a big impact on my life. I feel like a little kid with no say in what I want, when that happy face of a made up cartoon character is put in front of me with crayons to make the happy face, “come to life” it’s pathetic. With all the choices of small portions of food that would be gone in a flash if I would eat it can’t they see I’m a pig eating teenager needing lots of food a day, but they can’t see that in me because my height doesn’t show it. Who wants any of that? Being the age I am but looking ten is hurtful, making my life miserable. All and all, I don’t want to have a life full of frustration just because I’m short, I want to be able to talk to people knowing that they know I am thirteen and not a young ten year old, and not be handed a little kids menu and crayons when I walk in to a restaurant, yes I’m short I can’t change that but it makes me angry that I am being judged by the looks of me and being treated for who I really am and for my age.

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