Monday, April 25, 2005

The evil tuber

Everyone hates the tuber who messes up the smooth water. Smooth water is the best to water-ski or wakeboard on, but tubers always mess it up. If there were no tubers water-skiing and wakeboarding would be a lot more fun. If people didn’t tube they could ski or board, which both keep you more active and are healthier. Tubers are the worst because they are hard to deal with, they mess up the water and they almost always stay for a long time.
Tubers, the world’s “perfect-water-destroyers”, are always hard to deal with. If you request them too stop for a while they will either ignore you or say that they just want to have fun. If you ask them to go to a place where the water is already choppy they will just tell you to go. You could spray or follow them, but if they report you, you could get kicked off the lake, these things make them not only hard to deal with but they can turn around anything you say and make it affect you instead of them. Some people try to take an annual trip to a lake that always has good water, but sometimes tubers even manage to ruin these plans. Tubers are never easy to deal with.
Another horrible thing about tubers is that they mess up the water. Smooth water can become choppy in the time it takes for a tuber to start up his or her boat. Water-skiing and wake boarding are two things that do not mess up the water for others because they require little wake to be fun, tubing on the other hand destroys the water. Tubes bounce and make the water very uneven, and for tubing to be fun you have to go pretty fast, which creates an annoyingly large wake, along with the bouncing this makes wake boarding and water-skiing almost impossible. Tubing messes up the water for the entire wake, while water-skiing and wake boarding keep their wakes low enough to fade before it interrupts the entire lake. Tubers mess up the water doing something that isn’t even as fun as something that doesn’t mess it up.
Tubers usually stay from sun-up to sun down. Instead of taking just the afternoon or just the morning they insist on ruining the water all day. Most people who water-ski or wake board just take a half-day, so they don’t take up all the room for everyone else, but tubers don’t even pretend to care and stay all day. When you think that all the water has calmed down and the tubers have all left, they come back from their lunch break to ruin the water again, it almost seems like they know right when you’re finally ready to have some fun. If they don’t stay for a long time they’ll come in a big group, just to make sure that the water stays choppy for a long time after they leave. Tubers stay for to long, they should just try a half-day sometimes.
By now you must agree that tubers are the worst, by now even a tuber would hate people who you can’t deal with, make choppy water, and never leave. Now you surely agree that we water skiers and wake boarders are much more polite than tubers. Then again, I have to wonder, do they feel the same way about us?

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